What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

This joke may have profanity.

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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Whats the difference between reddit and 9gag?

3 hours, but it takes 1 day for it to get to Hot

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How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

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What do a loading bar and my girlfriend have in common?

Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.

Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye?

Because she was seeing somebody on the side.

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