What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

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What happened when the communists took over the airport?

The planes kept Stalin.

What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill?

It bucked!

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What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up?

Ereptile disfunction

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.