What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

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What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

An innocent bystumbler

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

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Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon