What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Who's there! Aida! Aida who?

Aida more than I drink!

Why don't cows drink milk?

Because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty?

She got a Zebra.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!