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Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

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What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

Why do buzzards prefer to fly?

Because they really like their carry-on..... yeah total dad joke, i know.

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How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

What the problem?

Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "