How does a fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

How do you know you've found Christopher Walken's house?

It has a recognizable gait

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish that takes a selfie?

Selfish

How long did it take the fish to go to the store?

Salmon or eight minutes.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What part of a fish weighs the most?

It's scales!

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale?

A whale-weigh station!

How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams