How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What did fish A say to fish B?

Wasabi?

Why did the fish fall off it's bike?

It's a fish.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!