Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

What does a programmer do in the toilet?

A log dump!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the plumber cry?

His family died.

What will people say when Prince Charles dies?

Long live the Queen.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How about something personal?

Me: Personally I need a job.

Why did the fish's car break down?

It needed a tuna-up.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

Little Bit Jokes More Little Bit Jokes

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.