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Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What do you call fireworks that don't work?

Fireunemployed.

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why are programmers bad at doing laundry?

They throw all their dirty clothes on the heap.

Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers?

They needed a developer.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How do most elderly golfers die?

They have a bad stroke

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common?

Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it

When do we need airplane noises?

NEEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWW

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you call a farmer who is really good at his job?

A man who is outstanding in his field.

Why was Farmer Bob so good at his job?

Because he was outstanding in his field

Little Bit Jokes More Little Bit Jokes

What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?

Hobos

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.