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What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the best offensive joke you have? Can you make me laugh?

Read all the other threads. I need new content. The old stuff is getting, well old. Here's my contribution. Have you head of the new drinking game? The mike brown special: stand there and take 12 shots. What's the difference between mike brown and a college kid? College kids can handle more shots before they fall down.

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What vegetable likes to party?

A turn-up

Why did the vegetables hop into the boiling pot of water?

They were part of a stewicide pact.

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

Leek Jokes More Leek Jokes

What is Bear Grylls' favourite vegetable?

Leek.

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.