Plumber Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

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How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable?

A Leek!

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

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How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

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What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?

Sketchers

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What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain?

A masochrist.

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

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Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Drain Jokes More Drain Jokes

Why's the sink depressed?

It's been feeling drained

What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

Walrus Jokes More Walrus Jokes

What do a walrus and a ziploc bag have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

Why did the walrus go to the tupperware factory?

To get a tight seal.

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

What's the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 20 beers!!

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What does a 90 year old woman taste like?

Depends.

What is the value of Pi?

Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99