Plumber Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable?

A Leek!

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

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Word Jokes More Word Jokes

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: a word

Why do bees hum?

Because they've forgotten the words!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Who do you sell second hand bikes to?

A re-cyclist.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food?

Because it just makes me falafel.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

Produce Jokes More Produce Jokes

What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?

Your Mother.

Why did they produce a reality show about midgets?

Because they only wanted a little drama.

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.