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Plumber Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable?

A Leek!

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Love
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How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is red... And smells like green paint?

Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.

What do you get when you put 20 Meth Heads in 1 room?

A full set of teeth

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

What do you think it'll be like?

The other student shrugs and says, "Remains to be seen".

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb?

Not get a job.

What are your expectations?

Me: Job. Interviewer: I mean what do you want from this job Me: Salary

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

Market Jokes More Market Jokes

How many libertarians?

How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it.

Why is there no market for white tires?

Because black tires makes your car run faster

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is not a truck crashing into people?

Nice.

There are 10 types of people in this world...

Those who understand binary and those who don't

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?

Baryon my wayward son!

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.