How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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What does the Sergeant of the Knowledge division always tell his troops to get?

In formation

How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)

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Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

What's a magazine?

Asked every guy under 30.

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Why do Chemists have so much debt?

Because they have so much Antimony!

Why do chemists love bad jokes?

Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions

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What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.