How do you tell the difference between ...

What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy?

When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, "Merci!".

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy?

They have a semillon!

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What are we waiting for?

The doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

Why dad?

He asks. Because my arm is getting tired

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?

He was afraid that he would swallow his words.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?