Remain Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous?

Anonagon.

What do you say when only the egg remains?

It's all ovum now

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What's left of a garden after it catches on fire?

Chard remains.

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

You might also enjoy:

View Jokes More View Jokes

What do you call an affectionate island?

Isle of view

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

Flush Jokes More Flush Jokes

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

Why did the janitor flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty.

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

Minority Jokes More Minority Jokes

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the worst part about working with a gamer?

They're always trying to 1-Up you.

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out

Dracula Jokes More Dracula Jokes

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year?

Because everyone wishes him a new ear.