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Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur?

Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What did the knife say to the pretty lady?

Nothing, she knew what was coming...

Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife?

Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

How does a barber make phone calls?

He cuts them short.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs!

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What did one lesbian pirate say to the other?

Scissor me timbers!