Rope Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

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How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Who's there! Caroline! Caroline who?

Caroline of rope with you!

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

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What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

('A jump rope')

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What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Aw shucks!

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Boxer Jokes More Boxer Jokes

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight.

Why didn't the boxer cross the road?

He didn't want to be part of a bad punch line.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you.

Which fish dresses the best?

The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!

Propose Jokes More Propose Jokes

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

Tangle Jokes More Tangle Jokes

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What did the bee use to dry off after swimming?

A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles A honeycomb.

Swinge Jokes More Swinge Jokes

What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line?

Stopping it with a shovel.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

What do you call a starving robot from space?

A C3POpian

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did Pete Carroll find Marshawn Lynch in a tree?

I'm just here so I don't get find.

Why was the cat scared of the tree?

Because of its bark