Propose Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you.

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

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When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What happened to Sponge Bob Square Pants when he broke up with his girlfriend?

He went back to square one....

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

Why do melons have fancy weddings?

Because they cantelope!

What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been?

Cantaloupe.

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes (xpost r/imgoingtohellforthis)

String Jokes More String Jokes

What did the string say to the harp?

No, you're a lyre!

Why did the empty string do immoral things?

Because it had no character.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?

They both have rings!

Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes?

Cause' freedom RINGS!

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce

Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

What's a clown's favorite restaurant?

Mod post from r/AntiJokes) I wouldn't know, as a mime I cannot comment.

Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible?

No comment.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?

I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.

What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg?

I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments.