Propose Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you.

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

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How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

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Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why don't melons marry on a whim?

They cantaloupe.

What's Queen Elsa's favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time are you supposed to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty!

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Guide Jokes More Guide Jokes

What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

What just cracked?

A guide to aging.

Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't climb the ladder.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?

Shake it off

Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?

He said it was too tight.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

How is a marriage like a hot bath?

Once you get used to it it's not so hot.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women?

He wanted a Czech mate.

What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

When you ask a girl, Wanna go to the gym with me?

Https://www.youtube.com/watch v=rQegAi6d-MM

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

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