What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

What lies in a pram and wobbles?

A jelly baby.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

What do you tell a women with a black eye?

Nothing, you already told her once.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

Who's there! Bacon! Bacon who?

Bacon a cake for your birthday!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday?

He felt his presents.