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Climb Jokes

How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't climb the ladder.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree?

Because he couldn't bark

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.

Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing...?

A fence.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

What's big, white, and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

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Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

Get off.

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

What's white and can't climb trees?

A Refrigerator

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?

To get in his nest.

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Why do dinosaurs climb trees?

There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates?

Because they rappel men and women.

What's blue and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge with a denim jacket on

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

What did Mario say to Yoshi when he started climbing the Cherry tree?

X-post r/landscaping) Yoshino!!!

How does a elephant hide in the jungle?

2.What is the Loudest sound in the jungle 1.Paints its balls red and climbs up a apple tree. 2.Tarzan picking apples.

How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator. Sorry.

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Whats white and cant climb trees?

A fridge --

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?

Queen Kong.

What do you call a witch who climbs up walls?

Ivy.

What do a squirrel and a piano have in common?

Both can climb trees, except the piano

Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb?

He really wasn't feeling up to it.

Why did Batman climb the tree?

He was looking for Robin's nest.

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How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

How many servers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, it's not my side work.

Mexican Favorite Sport Jokes More Mexican Favorite Sport Jokes

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross Country.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

It used to be cross country but now it's rock climbing.

Daesh Jokes More Daesh Jokes

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

What is the Islamic State's favorite crime?

The Dine-and-Daesh.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

Why should you always invite Amish people to a party?

They know how to raise the roof.

Why is the stick attached to the roof?

Because it is sticky.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you call an elephant on drugs?

Tranquilized.

Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book?

Her arms are amputated.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

How did horses get to America in the 1700's?

On the Hayflower!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why was the volleyball player drunk at a game?

Because he spiked his drink

Why should you always take at least two Baptists with you when you go fishing?

Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer.

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

What U.S. state was founded by Muslims?

Allah-bama