How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a guy drink when he wants to go out with a girl?

DATERADE

Why did the burgler take a bath?

He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why don't you see Santa for the rest of the year?

Because for the rest of the year he's in prison for breaking into people's houses.

Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong?

Because the rest are weekdays.

Fiancee Jokes More Fiancee Jokes

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married?

Fiancee

Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

Propose Jokes More Propose Jokes

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

What's the most bitter tea in existence?

Reality *cries in the corner*

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

Nihilist Jokes More Nihilist Jokes

Why did the nihilist cross the road?

It doesn't matter.

Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?

Because they cant find the point.