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Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?

He said it was too tight.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?

Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...

What do you give a train driver for Christmas?

Platform shoes!

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

When do Arabs return their library books?

The day they're Dubai.

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.