A snowfake.
He felt his presents.
Because Dec 25 = Oct 31
It would've just been "mas".
Noels
Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out
My bike
Because Oct31 = Dec25
Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...
Betty White.
Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us
Quit being nosey.
They both have Sandy Claws.
Because OCT 31 is the same as DEC 25.
Christmas, Carl
Your T.V.
Cancer.
They both have ornamental balls.
I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.
Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
The Rice-child was born.
Secret Satan.
YUUUUUUUUUULLLEEE!!!!!!!!!
With a Nine Inch Nail.
Hypothermia.
Elf and safety
Because they Marry Christmas!
I know this is an unorthodox post, but, I would love to hear your favorites!
I can see!
One brightly shines...
GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.
I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.
Because the rest of the letters are not-E.
Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.
Because there is no Turkey
He was de-lighted.
Only one nights sleep til Christmas!
A Headphone
Because he was on the nautilust.
A family.
Rice.
Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.
Thanks, I'll never part with it.
A Pull-it-surprise!
A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every Christmas tree salesperson does the trees
Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at Christmas.
He made them Batman.
Cold turkey
It's Christmas, Eve!
There is noel
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. You've probably heard this one before. But it's Christmas tomorrow so what the hell.
Do You Hear what I Hear?
Lonely.
Let's hang.
Getting a N64 now
Slanta Claus.
Fleas Navidad
Because he's a bad wrapper
Shorts!
All I want for Christmas is yeux
Police Navidad.
Because his bread was stollen!!!
Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!
A. Betty White.
Christmas in July
He was knotty.
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.
He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.
I need some for tonight.
It's Christmas, Eve.
They Duckerate cookies....lol...
Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jungle Bells
No L
Presence.
Very, very hungry.
He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.
A white Christmas.
Diabetes
WRAP MUSIC!
Nothing.
Your bicycle.
Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.
Three sleeps 'till Christmas!
Nothing - he'll just return it!
Cancer
The turkey - he's always stuffed!
A Merry Christmas to ewe
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
A cold.
Turkey, apparently.
Michael google.
Your teeth!
A Christmas-Quacker!
Fleece Navidad!
Removed
Gifs.
That it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
A year in prison if there's any justice.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.
One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'
Because he needed one.
Christmas music will still be playing next year.
Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.
At Sloan-Kettering the Mets always win.
Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
He turned a leaf and made an entry.
Mount Rushmore.
Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.
Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.
Hold on, let me get my bear rings.
A pillow
She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.
