What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common?

Cold turkey

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

What is a dentist's favorite time of the day?

2:30

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What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

Why does Jay Z love Christmas?

Because he's the best wrapper alive.

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Why did the noodles go to rehab?

To get yakisoba.

Why did the rabbit go to rehab?

He was hopped up on Easter eggs.

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What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.