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How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?

They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

So the violists don't need to be retrained.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals?

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why do they call me an oven?

Because when I get turned on things get really hot

How do you fix a womans watch?

You dont. There is a clock on the oven.

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

How do you hear a hormone?

Pay $100 for 30 minutes

What do performing bears at the circus get for lunch?

30 minutes.