Grandma Jokes

Who is your Grandma's favorite politician?

Bernie Sandmaster Flash

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What did 50 cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting?

Gee U Knit!

What happens when you put your grandma on speedial?

You get Insta-Gram

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas?

Gee, you knit

Why is that cotton candy talking?

Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj.

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence?

I'm udderly ruined!" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to

What's pink and wrinkled and hangs out your undies?

Your grandma.

How old is your Grandma?

I dunno but we've had him a long time.

What do you call your grandma on speed dial?

Instragram!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you get when a superhero has to use the restroom?

A comic relief.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

Nicki Minaj Jokes More Nicki Minaj Jokes

How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for?

Pound an alarm

Why is that cotton candy talking?

Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when everything's coming your way?

Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

Why are setups to jokes so important?

Because seven ate nine.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

Martial Art Jokes More Martial Art Jokes

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

Steven Seagull

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why are rivers lazy?

Because they never get off their beds.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

What's a rabbi's favorite type of bar?

It's sure as hell not a bar-mitzvah, those things are expensive.