Age Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

50$

What does an aging Mafia boss do for his birthday?

Forget about it.

What do r/jokes and my dads jokes have in common?

They don't get better with age

What did the pirate say when he turned 81?

Nothing, as he didn't exist. The probability of anyone in that demographic reaching their eighties is particularly low, and an active pirate being eighty one years of age is further rendered a statistical impossibility given that a pirate would need to be above a certain threshold in terms of physical ability.

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.

What's the difference between a hold-up and a stick-up?

Age

How old are you?

I said, "I'm five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

What age were pigs discovered in?

The Saus Age.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How does French cheese expire?

From age

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

What walks on eight legs until the age of one, four legs until the age of twenty, and two legs after?

The Weasley twins

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

To get food for her babies!

What gets higher with age?

Willie Nelson

What do you call an aging chef with an unfaithful wife?

A cookold.

What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time?

The Age Of Ultron.

Why do ghosts never age?

They use Bootox.

What's your age?

Me: I'm 20 Them: Oh, when i was your age i was 21

What just cracked?

A guide to aging.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?

It depends on the age.

What did the pirate pirate say on his 80th birthday?

I can't believe I'm still illegally downloading movies at this age!

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

Who did this?

1) When I was your age...

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

Cause nobody would be looking for them.

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

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Bola Jokes More Bola Jokes

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

History Jokes More History Jokes

What did you get 100 in?

Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add!

How did you do in your tests?

I did what George Washington did! What was that Went down in history!

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why do Asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes

Sean Connery Favorite Sport Jokes More Sean Connery Favorite Sport Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it?

Tennish

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How do you stop all the protests and riots?

Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl?

The Dallas Cowboys

What's the highest story of any building?

Floor 20

E Jokes More E Jokes

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

Knight Time Jokes More Knight Time Jokes

When are jousting tournaments most commonly held?

Knight time

Why were the Medieval centuries known as the Dark Ages?

It was the knight time