Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

What do the racehorse that finished in second and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Because he wanted a hot rod.

Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident?

It could be your car

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How does Jaden Smith keep getting roles in big movies?

Where there's a Will, there's a way.

How much do all the bones in the human body weigh?

A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What piece of furniture can you always trust?

A Reputable.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.