Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.

Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?

Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the dog lose the lawsuit?

It was a shih-tzu

Who did E.coli call after it lost a fight in school?

Broccoli

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

What does an aging Mafia boss do for his birthday?

Forget about it.

Violist Jokes More Violist Jokes

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

So the violists don't need to be retrained.

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.