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Notice Jokes

What does an Anime Mathlete say?

Notice me 7pi!

I Love Pizza & You

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I Love Pizza & You

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged?

Notice me sin()!!!

What did the tsundere degree say to the radian?

Notice me 10"

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

How much less could you care?

Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed.

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

When does karaoke start?

Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

Shomething'sh Amish...

What do you call a swashbuckler when he noticed you?

A senpairate.

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

She turned it over and used the other side.

What does a BYU coed do when she notices people are drinking at a party?

She puts her top back on and leaves.

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?

Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

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Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What happens when you combine TNT with a hard drive?

It gets blown to

What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does FTFY even mean?

I swear to god people abuse acronyms so much.

What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world?

You mean across

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?

When the color of the license plates start to change.

What color is a cheerleader?

Yeller.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

What was Schrodinger's favorite childhood book?

The Cat in the Box by Dr. Seuss

Why doesn't Barbie have any kids?

Because Ken came in another box.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles?

Electricity.

How do you know a guitarist is sad?

They start to fret.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?

Depressed

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why do old people read the Bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the Bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What are you taking for it?

Man replies "Pollen"