Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

Because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

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Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl.

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did The Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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What game do enemy naval officers play in the sauna?

Battleshvitz

How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella, had the same sized feet as her?

She should play the lottery too!

Skate Jokes More Skate Jokes

What do you say to a fig on ice?

Fig u're skating

What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?

Boy Hero: I had to do it. He had my skates on.

Thunderpant Jokes More Thunderpant Jokes

What's Thor's favourite piece of clothing?

Thunderpants

What do you find in a cloud's shorts?

Thunderpants!

Low Key Jokes More Low Key Jokes

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why couldn't the Tuba player get a date?

He was too low key.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

Deterrent.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do attractive men pay for things?

They handsome money to the cashier

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

Clothing Jokes More Clothing Jokes

Which article of clothing is the most ghetto?

A Hoodie.

Why is depressed clothing so convenient?

It hangs itself

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?

Numchucks.

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.