Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

Because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

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Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

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Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl.

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did The Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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Nordic Jokes More Nordic Jokes

What do Luke Bryant and a Nordic breast plate have on common?

They're on Thor.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem, He sleeps at night.

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

What's the difference between America and cereal?

You can get cereal without nuts.

Asgard Jokes More Asgard Jokes

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

Norsissist Jokes More Norsissist Jokes

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

Because he is a Norsissist.

Birthday Party Jokes More Birthday Party Jokes

Where would you find the emo kid at his birthday party?

Just *hanging* out by himself in the bedroom

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?

He heard they were having upside-down cake!

Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

How does a cactus do his math homework?

He uses a cacti-lator!

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

Disappoint Jokes More Disappoint Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

Because Santa came early!