Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do Luke Bryant and a Nordic breast plate have on common?

They're on Thor.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

Because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

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How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl.

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why couldn't Luke get any sleep?

Because the Force Awakens

What do you call a seagull that catches you sleeping?

A baegull.

Workout Jokes More Workout Jokes

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

Skate Jokes More Skate Jokes

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?

Boy Hero: I had to do it. He had my skates on.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why do you always invite at least two mormons to go out fishing with you?

If you invite only one, you'll have to share your beer.

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?

Because you said it was pound cake!

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?

Under the soap

What is the difference between British and American schoolchildren?

British schoolchildren survive hide-and-seek.

Low Key Jokes More Low Key Jokes

Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

He likes to keep things low key.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Disappoint Jokes More Disappoint Jokes

Why do frat bros hate fruit loops?

They're eternally disappointed by two-can Sam.

Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon?

Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!