Invite Jokes

Why do ghosts get invited to parties?

Because they always bring boos.

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Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

What did The Terminator say when he was invited to a music themed fancy dress party?

I'll be Bach.

When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite?

The Cheetahs!

Why should you always invite mushrooms to your parties?

They're fun guys!

Why should you always invite more than one Baptist on a fishing trip?

Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.

What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party?

Cake Moss and Naomi Candles

Why did the local university invite a foreign chemist?

Florine talent.

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Because he was a fungi

What do you do after you but a new oven?

Invite all of your friends over and have an oven warming party.

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

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Why shouldn't you invite a duck to go out drinking?

Because it would be a party fowl.

Why don't Pirates get invited to Birthday parties?

Because they always steal doubloons

Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up.

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?

Invite an accountant.

Why wasn't the Achilles invited into the body?

Because it was already attendin'.

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

He likes to keep things low key.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach.

Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze?

You invite two of them.

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Why are Trees never invited to a formal dinner?

They only wear Trunks.

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

Women!

Why was Mussolini never invited to parties?

He was always fascistly late.

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

Why should you always invite Amish people to a party?

They know how to raise the roof.

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Why should you never invite a boxer to a party?

He always throws the punch.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

Why should you only invite gas molecules to your house when they have negligible intermolecular forces between them?

Because they're the ideal gas.

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Because he was a fungi.

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

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Fishing Trip Jokes More Fishing Trip Jokes

Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one?

If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop

Why should you always invite more than one Baptist on a fishing trip?

Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What's the difference between an Arts student and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of 4

What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

What do Australians call upside down cake?

Cake.

What do you call cake that isn't yours?

Stollen

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What does a Frog use to fish with?

A TAD POLE.

Why can't a fish be a radio host?

Because if he goes on air, he'll die.

Terminator Jokes More Terminator Jokes

What's The Terminator's favourite band?

Guns 'n Roses

Why didn't The Terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

What do Dothraki use to count their horses?

A Khalculator

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What dance do hippies hate?

A square dance.

What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?

They're all, like, equal to me...

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!