Alabama Jokes

What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam

Why is Alabama the smartest state?

Because it has four A's and one B.

Why is an Alabama divorce like a tornado?

One way or the other someone is losing a trailer.

What Do You Call A Winery In Alabama?

Vineyard Skynyrd

How does Alabama keep alcohol out of high school?

Change the drinking age to 25

What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs?

Drool

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

What did the pilot say to the co-pilot right before the UPS plane crash in Alabama?

Too soon.

How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

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Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

He refused to integrate.

What is a worm's favorite city in Alabama?

Squirming-ham

How do Alabama parents teach their kids to put on their underwear?

Yellow in the front, brown in the back.

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

How do dating sites in Alabama save money?

They link to Ancestry.com

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Bam Jokes More Bam Jokes

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?

Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!

Crazy Night Jokes More Crazy Night Jokes

What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money?

Blacking out and gaining money.

State Jokes More State Jokes

What do you call a state named after highways?

Road Island.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?

He couldn't stand all the racket!

What type of cheese lives under your bed?

Muenster.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What's a bear without an ear?

A b

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the fastest bird in the world?

The Somali chicken!

What's the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school?

How should I know? I just fly the drones.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up pick it up!"