What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?

He couldn't stand all the racket!

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What Do You Call A Winery In Alabama?

Vineyard Skynyrd

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

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Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

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What is the best part of the camp?

One wise guy answered 'Going home!'

What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"