Mississippi Jokes

What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

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Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?

He was a card shark!

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why can't two even numbers be together?

The odds are against them.

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

Why was 2 afraid of 4?

Because 4 8 16!

Cup Jokes More Cup Jokes

Who's the most popular guy in the nudist camp?

The one who can carry two cups of coffee AND a dozen donurs!

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?

Namaste

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you call 2 White Girls + A Starbucks?

Basic Math

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

Ok you 2 dont start anything

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse?

Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift up the horse!

What did the cow say to the horse?

Mooooooo