Mississippi Jokes

What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

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What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

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How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call people who hang out with musicians?

Drummers

Why don't people hang out with the mushroom?

He isn't a fungi.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What do Dothraki use to count their horses?

A Khalculator

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

Why do elephants live in the jungle?

Because it's out of the high rent district.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

What kind of people are always in a damn hurry?

Russians

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

Whats the best part of living in Switzerland?

Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.

What's the best side of the house to build a deck on?

The outside

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany