How did the hippie remember the number ...

What are the 2 rules of success?

No1: Don't tell everything you know.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How is your job and your wife different?

I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand?

Quattro cinco

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3.?

4. Prophet.

What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am?

It's your dad.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire?

Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up

What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What is the proper weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds.......not counting the urn!

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb?

Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs?

I can't remember.

Mississippi Jokes More Mississippi Jokes

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

1 Mississippi Jokes More 1 Mississippi Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout