How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How to have an unforgettable date?

1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

What fish is made of only two sodium ions?

2 Na

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand?

Quattro cinco

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?

They're all, like, equal to me...

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you call 3 Irish tree surgeons?

Tree fellas

What's the difference between a Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops at 3 ho's

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Who else does this?

1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

Dis counts!!

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb?

The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement

What number is most common in earth sciences?

E

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs?

I can't remember.

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

Mississippi Jokes More Mississippi Jokes

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

1 Mississippi Jokes More 1 Mississippi Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

2 Mississippi Jokes More 2 Mississippi Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

3 Mississippi Jokes More 3 Mississippi Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout