Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Where are the colored printers?

I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

How did Lex Luthor hide his money laundering from Superman?

He used a krypton-currency.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

Who is the most trustworthy lover?

Shakira. Her hips don't lie.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

When my laptop asks "Are you sure?

It's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

What do you call the place where lesbian Eskimos meet up?

A Klondike Bar

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Who invented the telephone?

The Phoenicians (phone-itions).

How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?

Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called teethpaste.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.