Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do they use frozen band-aids for?

Cold cuts.

How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

He happily says, "Since 2009!"

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in English. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator?

This place rocks!

How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?

With scare spray.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

Gets arrested*

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What did one device say to the other?

Are you syncing what I"m syncing

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.