Invent Jokes

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

April Sale

Who invented schools and teaching?

Ed. U. Cation!

What did they give the guy who invented the doorknocker?

A no-bell prize

What's the name of the rockstar who invented mouth ulcer gel?

Jon Bonjela!

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

Who invented the knock knock joke?

Two wee chaps

Why was the lightbulb invented?

Somebody had an idea.

Why was the piano invented?

So that the musician would have a place to put their beer.

How many women does it take to invent something?

Nobody knows, history is still waiting....

How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?

She gives birth to a son.

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?

Because the spray paint can wasn't invented until 1949.

April Sale

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.

What English King invented the fireplace?

Alfred the grate!

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

They weren't invented yet.

How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?

Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called teethpaste.

How does a woman go about inventing something?

She gives birth to a boy.

How was the Irish Jig invented?

To much beer and not enough bathrooms

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

April Sale

How did they invent break dancing?

Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented?

What are our scientists doing

How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Because it is not called a teethbrush.

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?

They were very impressed!

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

Why did they invent white chocolate?

So black kids could get messy too.

What if we gave people enough for three fries?

Guy who invented ketchup packets

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South?

Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush!

What happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused a revolution.

Why is there so little Black literature?

Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949.

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

Gets arrested*

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

You might also enjoy:

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you bowl a 301?

Do you know anyone who has bowled a 300 and lost

How do you know if you're a bogan?

You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How many times we need to tell you that she died?

Man: It pleases me to listen that she died.

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

Toothpaste Jokes More Toothpaste Jokes

How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?

Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called teethpaste.

What kind of toothpaste do MLG use?

Pretty much anything, just no Scope.

Sweep Jokes More Sweep Jokes

What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?

Time to go to sweep.

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

How do you know when a vampire is sick?

He starts coffin...

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Mississippi Jokes More Mississippi Jokes

Invent Jokes

How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi?

I Love Pizza & You

Where was the toothbrush invented?

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

Who invented rhetorical questions?

How do you know the high heel was invented by men?

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Why did Levi invent such nice trousers?

Which scientist invented the nuclear powered floor cleaner?

How did Al Gore invent the Internet?

What happened when fire and the wheel were invented?

Where is the lift?

Your Age Is Only Math

Who invented schools and teaching?

What did they give the guy who invented the doorknocker?

What's the name of the rockstar who invented mouth ulcer gel?

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

Who invented the knock knock joke?

Why was the lightbulb invented?

Why was the piano invented?

How many women does it take to invent something?

How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

How was copper wire invented?

What's a joke that you invented?

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

What English King invented the fireplace?

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?

How does a woman go about inventing something?

How was the Irish Jig invented?

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Love

How did they invent break dancing?

Who invented cereals?

Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented?

How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Why did God invent economists?

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?

What do clothes and religion have in common?

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

Who invented fractions?

Who invented the telephone?

Why did they invent white chocolate?

What if we gave people enough for three fries?

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South?

What happened when the wheel was invented?

Why is there so little Black literature?

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

Whatcha inventing?

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

Who invented mince?

How can we possibly improve this?

Who invented the equation?

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

You might also enjoy:

How do you bowl a 301?

How do you know if you're a bogan?

How many times we need to tell you that she died?

How did she tell them apart?

How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?

What kind of toothpaste do MLG use?

What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

How do you know when a vampire is sick?

What do you mean pi r square?

Where is Jennifer's husband?

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

I can't tell if i like this blender...