Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.

This joke may have profanity.

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Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why are you Late Today?

Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did my wife cross the road?

To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.

What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?

Sir Loin!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

What did the first lesbian vampire say to the second lesbian vampire?

See you next month.

Second Hand Shop Jokes More Second Hand Shop Jokes

What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop?

The second hand shop.

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.