What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Who did E.coli call after it lost a fight in school?

Broccoli

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Why can't an Italian snake talk?

Because it doesn't have any hands.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Second Hand Shop Jokes More Second Hand Shop Jokes

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.

What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop?

The second hand shop.