What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a white man who never lose in the boxing ring?

The referee

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How are martinis like breasts?

They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon?

The second m is silent.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Second Hand Shop Jokes More Second Hand Shop Jokes

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.

What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop?

The second hand shop.