Language Jokes

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

What does a deaf math nerd speak?

Sine language.

What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call someone who only speaks one language?

American.

What language do British wrenches speech?

Spanish!

What language do farsighted people speak?

Farsi.

What language does a patio speak?

Porch-uguese

What language do teapots speak?

Teabrew.

What language do fast talkers from Moscow speak?

Ian!

What language do bees speak?

The beesnese

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

What language do cats speak?

Catonese

What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak?

Parcel-tongue

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

What language do bill boards use?

Sign language.

How do you call a person that speaks only one language?

An American

What language do eagles program in?

C#(https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/incanadawehavesomenicefalcons/cx8608n)

What language do Fed-Ex drivers speak?

Parcel-tongue

What language does robot Marco run on?

Rubio on rails

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

What language do the Vatican Police speak?

Pig Latin!

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What language do they speak in Holland?

Hollandaise.

What language do they speak in Cuba?

Cubic!

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

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Program Jokes More Program Jokes

What language do eagles program in?

C#(https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/incanadawehavesomenicefalcons/cx8608n)

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

Orient Jokes More Orient Jokes

What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance

Why are programmers so consumeristic?

Because they're object oriented.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's the different between E.T. and a refugee?

E.T. learned English and wanted to go home

What is Black, White and Red all over?

My English Monologue Draft...

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

World Jokes More World Jokes

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

What's the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language.

Programming Language Jokes More Programming Language Jokes

What programming language do they use in Star Wars?

JawaScript

What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist?

Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI

Long Word Jokes More Long Word Jokes

What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!