What type of jokes do planets tell each other?

Cosmic jokes.

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What's that again?

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

Why should you not tell jokes to sand paper?

It's a rough crowd...Ba da bum chssh

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What type of music do astronauts love?

Neptunes!

What type of people can you not stand?

People in wheelchairs

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What planet smells the worst?

Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.

Why is it so hard to throw a party in space?

Because you have to planet.