What do you call a joke that only works written down instead of told orally?

A sic joke

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What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the galaxy

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

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How could you tell that the figure skater was a mathematician?

Because of the Fibonacci sequins.

Why did the chemist break his teeth?

He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon

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How do you make a blonde laugh at Easter?

Tell her a joke at Christmas

Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown?

The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.

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What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch?

He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.

Why is history called His story?

Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias.