Planet Jokes

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

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Why are asteroids so strong when they hit the planet?

Because they take a steroid.

How do your organize a space party?

You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)

What planet smells the worst?

Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.

How do we confirm life on another planet?

If you find a rare Pepe drawn the disk.

How does our solar system organize a party?

They Planet

How does NASA organise a party?

They Planet.

How many Duggars does it take to screw a planet?

EOM

What type of jokes do planets tell each other?

Cosmic jokes.

What is the coolest food on the planet?

Burr-ito!

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

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What's it called when a planet orbits its sun 8 times?

An orbyte

How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid?

You planet early.

How do astronomers plan a party?

They planet.

What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?

A Dinosaucer

Why is it so hard to throw a party in space?

Because you have to planet.

What did earth say to the other planet?

You guys have no life!

What's the most cleanest animal on the planet?

A Hygiena.

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

Why is milk the fastest liquid on the planet?

It's pasteurised before you can see it!

What does earth say to the other planets?

You have no life

When he grow up, he will ask me, "Dad, did you name me after a planet?

And i will be like, "No:("

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

What do planets do to follow each other on SpaceTube?

Sunscribe.

Which songs do planets sing?

Neptunes.

What do you call a dog from another planet?

A dal-martian

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto?

Because hes not a planet.

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

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How do your organize a space party?

You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet

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Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday?

Half Life 3 Confirmed!

Why did the snail cross the road?

It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first. Update: It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

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Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!

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Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle?

Mohammed

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

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What was the geologists' favorite Musical genere?

Rock

Why is Patrick so dumb?

He's living under a rock.

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Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?

Tell him a joke when he's a baby!

How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you joking? They can't even change a dirty diaper!

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What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?

Catholic