Land Jokes

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is Palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

No connection

What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song?

Land of Cold-Fusion".

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

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Who's there! Athena! Athena who?

Athena reindeer landing on your roof!

What's the oldest red wine in America?

Give us back our land!

Which way will it fall?

If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm?

Take me to your breeder!

What's Peter Pan's brother's name?

Peter Pot. He gets so high he never lands.

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

What's the difference between New York City and the Land of Mordor?

Two Towers.

Why are sailors so impatient when they get on land?

Because they're tired of waiting in the rhumb line.

What is the oldest red wine?

They took our Land!

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

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How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

What are you doing here?

I just got fired from the circus "Oh my" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond

What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere?

Plot twisting!

Why is Peter Pan always flying around?

Because he can never never land

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

What's North America's most famous red wine?

Give back our land!

What does a cat say when it lands on it's back?

Me. Ow.

Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?

Because is they fell forward they'd land in the boat.

What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head?

It knocked him cold.

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

Exactly the same.

What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?

He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share.

Who is the most cowardly knight in all the land?

Sir Ender

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What did the Mexican-American say when two houses landed on him?

Get off me holmes!

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....

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Yoga Teacher Jokes More Yoga Teacher Jokes

What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early?

Namaste

Settle Jokes More Settle Jokes

What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!

Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center?

Too many walkers.

Tomman Baratheon Jokes More Tomman Baratheon Jokes

What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band?

Fall out boy

What happend to Tommen Baratheon?

He made it to kings landing

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia?

Shia Labeouf

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot?

Because it was Pablo-matic

Gotham City Jokes More Gotham City Jokes

What fictional city can ISIS not invade by land?

Gotham City.

What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city?

Christian Bale.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's Santa's favorite snack?

A crisp Pringle

What do Santa's little helpers learn in school?

The Elfabet!

Happend Jokes More Happend Jokes

What happend to Tommen Baratheon?

He made it to kings landing

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

Native Americans Jokes More Native Americans Jokes

Why do Native Americans have such good hearing?

They have engineers

Why do Native Americans wear jock straps?

TOTEM POLE

Land Jokes

Why is the ocean so salty?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Why is the sea salty?

How do you stop the government from making a pipeline across your land?

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

What happend to Tommen Baratheon?

Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats?

What happens when you sing a country music song backwards?

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

What's the fastest thing on land?

We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why did the Native American curse the snow?

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera?

What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship?

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Who lands first?

What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song?

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

Love Card

Who's there! Athena! Athena who?

What's the oldest red wine in America?

Which way will it fall?

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm?

What's Peter Pan's brother's name?

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

What's the difference between New York City and the Land of Mordor?

Why are sailors so impatient when they get on land?

What is the oldest red wine?

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

Birthday State of Mind

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

What are you doing here?

What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere?

Why is Peter Pan always flying around?

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

What's North America's most famous red wine?

What does a cat say when it lands on it's back?

Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?

What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head?

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?

Who is the most cowardly knight in all the land?

What lands first?

What did the Mexican-American say when two houses landed on him?

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

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What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early?

What's your excuse?

Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center?

What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band?

What happend to Tommen Baratheon?

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia?

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot?

What fictional city can ISIS not invade by land?

What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city?

What's Santa's favorite snack?

What do Santa's little helpers learn in school?

What happend to Tommen Baratheon?

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

Why do Native Americans have such good hearing?

Why do Native Americans wear jock straps?