What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?

He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share.

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream?

Sure, Bert!

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

How do you stop the government from making a pipeline across your land?

You Sioux them.

Why are sailors so impatient when they get on land?

Because they're tired of waiting in the rhumb line.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad: I guess through its Beak

Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?

Because he ate five fruits a day!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister?

They are both in bread.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors?

Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.

Beetle Jokes More Beetle Jokes

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

What do you call a beetle in the bed sheets?

John Linen