How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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How do you know who in the room is a vegetarian?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

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What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

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What do you do to a chemist after they die?

You Barium

What do people do when a chemist dies?

They barium.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".