How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

This joke may have profanity.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone's from Texas?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist?

Because they won't believe it.

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

Which NBA team likes McDonald's the most?

Denver Nuggets

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift.