Kilt Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

March Madness Sale

Love

$5.99

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

You might also enjoy:

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

Fella Jokes More Fella Jokes

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river?

Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed

Scottish People Jokes More Scottish People Jokes

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What type of phones do fish use?

Shellular*, of course...

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do black people wear chains?

Nostalgia

What did Joan Rivers say to the zombie?

Who are you wearing *

Pal Jokes More Pal Jokes

What does an American actor say when going to Europe?

Let's go PAL.

What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.