Kilt Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

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Look for fresh prints.

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What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay?

My zipper.

What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

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What do you call it if a white person robs you?

Capitalism

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

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What do you call 2 Nuns &amp a Cheerleader?

2 Tightends &amp a Wide Reciever

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What is an Irish 7 course meal?

A six pack and a potato

What instrument does the Irish chemist play?

The boron.

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How can you call someone and sound fabulous?

Use a homophone.

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

What cologne do engineers wear?

Elon's musk