Kilt Jokes

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

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What do you call 'looking for a Korean'?

Seoul searching

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What's the instinctual response to a bad gym selfie?

A reflex of course.

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What kind of math do owls like?

Owlgebra.

What is red... And smells like green paint?

Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife