How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do you call a food that turns black people on?

An -disiac.

How do you stop joint pain?

Turn it around.

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

What's the best way to get to the front page?

Post good stuff. Please up vote To FP!

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

Fife Jokes More Fife Jokes

How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?

The other replies "That was no piccolo that was my fife."