What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay?

My zipper.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

40 Jokes More 40 Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

How many of the commemorative state quarters have you collected?

I have 40.

Bay Jokes More Bay Jokes

Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?

Because they don't want to be bagels.

Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul?

Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel.

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has 142 teeths and can hold back the incredible Hulk?

My zipper

What has 42 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?

He heard they were having upside-down cake!

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.