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How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?

Wave at him

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

How 'bout this one?

Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes?

I'm walkin' here!

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Thunder Jokes More Thunder Jokes

Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

The scientists were brainstorming.

What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder?

Hey zeus!