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Ape Jokes

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did one ape say to the the other ape?

What did one ape say to the other ape.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes?

I'm walkin' here!

What separates the men from the apes?

The Mediterranean Sea.

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

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What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why do primates do so well in show biz?

Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

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Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

What's something a white person says a lot, but a black person never says?

Hi dad!

Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University?

The Janitor

Boko Harambe Jokes More Boko Harambe Jokes

What do you call an army of gorilla soldiers?

Boko Harambe.

What do you call a dead gorilla in a shopping centre?

Boko Harambe

King Kong Jokes More King Kong Jokes

Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

Why is King Kong big and hairy?

So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?

A casket

Baboom Jokes More Baboom Jokes

What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?

A Baboom!

What do you call an exploding ape?

A baboom.

Separate Jokes More Separate Jokes

Why do Newfies want Qubec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

Why do galaxies put on boring shows while separated?

Because their performance is lack-cluster.

Ape Ril Jokes More Ape Ril Jokes

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

Bbq Jokes More Bbq Jokes

What did the black kid get on his ACT?

BBQ sauce

What did the mohel bring to the BBQ potluck?

His homemade Bris-kit.