Ape Jokes

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

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What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes?

I'm walkin' here!

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

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Why do primates do so well in show biz?

Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

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What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?

A Baboom!

What do you call an exploding ape?

A baboom.

Banana Split Jokes More Banana Split Jokes

Where do you learn to make banana splits?

At sundae school.

What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes?

A banana split!

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Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food?

Because it just makes me falafel.

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What is it that separates humans from animals?

The Mediterranean Sea

What do a sperm and a lawyer have in common?

A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.

Ape Ril Jokes More Ape Ril Jokes

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road half way?

He wanted to lay it on the line!

Who is Jason Waterfalls?

And why don't they want him to go

Paris Jokes More Paris Jokes

Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!