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What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

How do you stop bad singing?

A pitchfork

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?

A new age song.

Why is it fun to play with matches?

They're lit.

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

Why did the cat give birth at the park?

Because the sign at the park said "Fine for Littering"

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

He refused to integrate.

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?

A. Banned from the Zoo.

What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else?

In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe.